I can’t believe I am going to tell you all this. I hope it helps others about what I am fixing to confess. I’m not proud of it but these days it is common, sadly enough. I am in Recovery but really need to be recovering from Recovery. What do I mean, you say. First, Let me tell you my story.
Two years after I moved to Mississippi, I had a family member, I will call them Mary, who was in bad health and suffered of a broken back. Her primary doctor had her on 30 mg Oxycodone x 180 and 15 mg Oxycodone x 180 each month. She would take a couple of 30’s and get messed up. While she was messed up, Mary would hand me handfuls of pain pills. For a year I just put them up for her but I never took one.
I fell off the bed one night and hurt my left arm about 6 years ago. I still have the indention. After going to the ER and doing x-rays, I came home and took a 15mg Oxy. This was my first time taking anything stronger than a 7.5mg Norco. The pill didn’t get me high or anything like that but it did take away all my aches and pains that I had been feeding Goody’s and Ibuprofen for. I swear, I wish I had NEVER taken that first pill.
Two days after I hurt my arm, I started working at a Convenience store where I had to go in at 4:30 AM. The thing about Oxy’s is that they woke me up and kept me awake. So I began taking them daily and had enough energy to make it through the day.
The owner of the store I was working at, I later found out was dealing drugs and taking money from the store for his addictions as well. After about 8 months of managing the store I quit due to a nervous breakdown and the neurologist found a tumor on my pituitary gland. This threw me into a depression.
For two years I was addicted to pain pills then I went to pain management to get off of them. Pain Management put me on Bunavail buccal films for my aches and pains and to get me off the pills. For the next 4 years I was on these strips until due to insurance the doctor had to drop me. I never understood why he never weined me off of the strips.
I am now seeing a psychiatrist who is helping wein me off of the buccal films. I don’t like being addicted to anything other than my Dr. Pepper and nicotine which I want to eventually quit as well. I have another month or two and hopefully I will be clean.
I hope this helps someone else who has addictions. I guess being bipolar I never realized how easily I could get addicted to anything.